When you contacted me earlier this summer I rejected your invitation, but you’ve persisted in this pursuit.
Perhaps you need clarification.
Did you read the entirety of my response, or just the part that turned you on? I am not a domme, and I don’t want to play pretend domme. What part of “deal with your own privilege issues” did you not get? Your performance of privilege as a White man gets in the way of finding a Black woman in the BDSM scene, but you clearly do not care about resolving that issue because you do not empathize with anyone who does not share your status or privilege with regard to race, class, and gender. You don’t seem to interested in engaging in kink with a Black woman in a way that shows and encourages mutual respect and dignity between consenting adults. Rather, you have constructed a virtual landscape that reveals your contempt and anger towards Black women because of your inability to surpass your limits as a person with privileged status—yes, your performance of privileged status limits your ability to transform your life and build loving, lasting relationships with your woman of preference.
Your profile picture featuring a Black woman’s pair of feet being used to cover your face sends a clear message to me that you view Black women as sexual accessories for your entertainment. Her face does not exist—just her feet. You, on the other hand, need not show your face in that image because your skin color does not invoke accessory status—it invokes dominance and supremacy. White male privilege as an ideology encourages such fetishization of women of color as playthings. Your invitations further indicate your inability to view and treat Black women with respect and dignity as full human beings who are equal to you. You would rather put Black women into mythological constructs for your own entertainment. As such, you don’t seem to be interested in matters of the heart in a manner that would help or heal.
Further, based on your proposed scenarios, you seem to be interested in invoking much more destructive emotions like rage and bitterness. Why would you expect me to pretend to be a hateful, greedy, vengeful person, or worse, pretend to be self-centered and oblivious to others who are different from me? You seem to think that the only way for you to dismantle your privilege is to pretend being oppressed opposite me pretending to be privileged. Why not work on dismantling your gender and race privilege from within so that you can participate in a much more transformative and progressive process of social justice as a part of a much larger collective?
Or is that an impossible course of action because of your socioeconomic status and your narcissism?
You clearly don’t like being told no. In fact, you clearly refuse to accept it. As a person with gold status you don’t accept rejection because you believe yourself and people who share your status to be the only people that matter. Your politics as a progressive do not give you a free pass on your privilege issues. Claiming to be a progressive while treating me and other women of color as commodities with no right to give or not give consent just makes you a much more stealth predator. In such a world-view like that, people like me are tools and toys to use and discard. I suspect that your everyday dealings with us are less than honorable or respectful.
You are attempting to impose your presence in my life by topping from the bottom, but you. I don’t need that headache in my life. I’m not your personal guru for your spiritual path. I’m not your magical Negro or mammy.
The answer is yet again no.